his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Found the puke drawer
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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