Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
