I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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