K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
