38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
