stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
