you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
