One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
