you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
