But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
third nipple confirmed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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