It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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