I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize