just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
