Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he was CRYING into my vagina
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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