i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
