My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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