college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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