wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
