Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
