things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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