I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
