Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
