Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
