I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
