im drinking this country out of the recession.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize