I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I cut my penus on the lid.
We got so high we made milksteak
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize