she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
