why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I love having hate sex.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
