Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
