I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
