69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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