She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize