I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i need some magic done to my vagina
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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