Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
