i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
