oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
