You're a womanizer and a bitch.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
