would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
