I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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