Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
