ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
