he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
