dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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