apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
