We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize