they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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