Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
