we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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