Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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