Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize