She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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