If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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