i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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