he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
