Sry I called you an 8
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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