That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
