The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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